The Activities List offered here was complied by Sirius1 and adapted by circe. It comes in two parts.
The first part asks you whether you have heard of, or participated in, each activity, it asks you to set moral, hard or soft limits for each and then gets you to rate them on a scale of 0-10 for emotional and physical pleasure. The second part asks you to give your understanding of what the activity involves and to explain why you have set the chosen limits and your chosen ratings. It is important to fill in this part since a misunderstanding could undermine your safety. An example of this would be Breath Play. You might understand this to mean that your Dom/me will make you pant with pleasure and so you rate it as a "10", your Dom/me, on the other hand, might understand it to mean suffocation and is happily getting the cling film and duct tape ready.
If there are any activities you do not understand then do not be afraid to say so. A good Dom/me will take the time to explain them to you.
What are Moral, Hard and Soft Limits?
Moral Limits: These are things which the sub is morally, fundamentally opposed to. These limits may be discussed on a purely intellectual basis, but never pushed or infringed upon for any reason.
Hard Limits: These are fetishes or activities that either repel, scare, or are so foreign to who the sub is that s/he will not engage in them under any circumstances.
These limits may also not be pushed during scening, though they may be pushed in discussion. In other words, if the sub had a hard limit, it would be something the Dom/me could talk to them about, in an effort to get him/her to experiment, thus changing it to a "soft limit". This works both ways, if the sub, for instance, were into some form of edge play, s/he would be able to discuss it with the Dom/me in an effort to get him to experiment with it.
Soft Limits: These are fetishes or activities that might scare you, turn you off, or simply not interest you, but not to such a degree that you refuse to engage in them.
These might also be a matter of degree, such as :- the sub will do this activity to this degree, but no higher. Pain thresholds might fall into that category. Soft limits are always pushable, but with care. Such pushing should proceed slowly and cautiously and with lots of communication.
What Are The Different Pleasure Ratings?
Physical Pleasure: Positive feelings of pleasure derived from an activity on a physical level. This can range from kissing and cuddling through to slapping and spanking as many people in BDSM draw pleasure from physical pain or discomfort.
Direct Emotional Pleasure: This comes as a result of the sub's desire to submit. It is a positive psychological/emotional response to being controlled or dominated, and may or may not be linked to a physical activity. It's a feeling of contentment and enjoyment that comes with fulfilling the internal needs to be a sub or the sub. It may be derived from simply being ordered to do an assignment through to being tortured.
Indirect Emotional Pleasure: This is the pleasure the sub receives from pleasing his/her Dom/me. The activity may be something the sub doesn't want to do, it would give no physical pleasure, and perhaps might even involve some level of discomfort. It wouldn't fit the sub's self-image as a sub, so it would bring no direct emotional pleasure. But because the sub knew that performing that activity would bring pleasure to the Dom/me, s/he would submit and do what was demanded. This pleasure that comes purely from pleasing the Dom/me is Indirect Emotional Pleasure.
Pleasure from being Forced: This secretly combines both direct and indirect emotional pleasure and is more psychologically based on the sub being relieved of the onus of saying that s/he bore any responsibility for the participation in the activity.
The Activity Lists are in Microsoft Word™, which means they can be filled in on your computer and emailed to your Dom/me.
Click here if you wish to receive a copy of the Lists
