Hi, and just wanted to start by saying how honoured I was to be asked to add my thoughts on D/s to this wonderful site.

So who is paula?

Paula is of course paul, though paul and paula are very much brother and sister… Rather than paula claiming that she is a "woman trapped in a man's body" as many TV's may, paula is simply one of the roles that paul has been challenged to study, learn and implement. Paul is just as happy in almost any role he is set where it is a challenge set by an Owner and where both enjoy the true spirit of pure D/s.

Also, unlike many other CDs or TVs, paul does not dress up as paula to sit online for hours at a terminal, or dress up for self indulged pleasures. Having said that, when dressed her attention to detail is of course minute – to ensure she is shaved / waxed and her outfits are properly turned out as well as relevant to the task set.

Paula does not seek one-night stands or meeting guys. Paul is much happier being set the role of domestic slaveboy, puppy or a maid for a Mistress or a Dom Couple and has even embarked on pony training in the past. Whatever the role, the pleasure for paul is to be set a role, to study it thoroughly and then follow through by demonstrating what paul has learnt to the One who set the task.

Overall, the challenge of the submission is paul's way of relaxing away from the pressure of the day, where professionally his work is very demanding and fast paced. To step away; loose himself unselfishly; adapt to listening and doing without question is, for paul, a major challenge but is why he throws himself into his roles very seriously.

So what does paul enjoy?

Paul has pretty much travelled the world and has developed a very wide acceptance of people and their cultures. In this time, he has developed his own preferences of course, but as he moved away from the vanilla scene many years ago, tends to prefer not to mingle with vanillas when possible. He would much rather socialise with a group of scene people from any persuasion having a beer than any bevy of closed-minded people – the pressure not to make a comment or a light hearted joke is just too much amongst those that choose not to understand.

And what does paul not enjoy?

The Internet and the easy access to chat utilities have brought fantastic changes to many of us, as we can reach out to many more similarly minded people now than we ever could before. However, the ease of access into people has also brought the negative aspect of those who have no intention or ability to participate in an honest way with those who are true and dedicated. Whilst these people are usually rooted out quickly, their constant intervention and b/s hidden behind a perceived curtain of animosity is one we could all do without.

Also, whilst paul is a crossdresser when he undertakes the role of paula, there is nothing more annoying to him than males abusing females, or males dressing in female clothes and proclaiming they wish to be "abused like a woman". The same is said for those who claim to be Master, using the veil of BDSM to hide behind in their pursuit of shameless abuse and corruption of those whom who perhaps were weak, vulnerable or otherwise inexperienced.

To paul, the D/s scene he seeks is where each (Master/sub) is always equal, enabling them to choose their roles and limits with one another. Each D/s relationship is of course different as it only means anything to those people involved, in what they seek and how they adapt to one another. An Owners responsibility is to protect and guide their charges, not damage them.

Naturally the two main things Paul looks for in people with whom to mix are honesty and trust. Both are inseparable in the scene where one's safety and security is so dependent.

© PDL, Feb 2002