'Don't judge a book by its cover'

Whoever penned that phrase got it absolutely right.

What does BDSM mean to a pre-operative submissive transsexual?

The million-dollar question that has no right or wrong answer, but a multitude of answers all the beginning of another question.

This girl was asked to try to explain (in her opinion) the expectations and needs and experience within the lifestyle for one like her.

What a daunting prospect.

She should start firstly by defining what a pre-operative Transsexual is.
It is a biological male who is in the process of transitioning to become a female.
All transsexuals whether they go ahead with hormone treatment and or surgery are always female mentally.
They are not homosexual, nor do they get a purely sexual pleasure from 'dressing' as the opposite sex.
It is a deep-rooted psychological and mental condition known as 'gender dysphoria'.

There is no cure for this condition, however the Transsexual has one and only one way of becoming whole and losing the despairing condition and that is through gender re-assignment surgery.
She will not go into the process this takes, but needless to say once it is completed what is left is a happy female person, able to live a fulfilled life as the person they should have been at birth.
The obvious problem for a transsexual, especially a pre-operative submissive one is how to find a partner, Within the 'vanilla' world this is difficult, within the BDSM world almost impossible, especially before transition (surgery)
Most transsexuals would be attracted to Men, a few are attracted to Women and even fewer (about 1-2%) are bi-sexual.
So for most of us, this leaves a problem.
Men look for Women or gay men look for gay men, Women look for Men or for gay women, the transsexual is stuck between these two worlds, not fitting precisely one nor the other.
So you can imagine that with an almost impossible situation in the 'vanilla' world the chances of finding a Dominant in the BDSM world is even harder, and you would be right.

Transsexuals are caring sensitive people, who look for nothing other than the same things that You would.
A loving relationship, an equal standing, good company and tender moments of love and appreciation.
But by the way in which they choose to alter their lives, compassion and understanding are paramount, and often forgotten by others.

When this girl first entered the world of BDSM in the late 1980's, she was looked at as quite an oddity.
There were not too many of us 't-girls' on the scene, either 'nilla' or 'lifestyle', and this at least gave her the chance to offer something different and new.
She had many experiences with Dominant's, mostly Men looking for an excuse to be with a biological Male but without having to deal with the guilt of being Gay.
They used her as one would use a one-night stand.
Get your rocks off and then leave in the morning type of thing.
It was hardly interesting let alone rewarding.
For most of these so called Dominant Men it was a question of having a 'pretty' young thing to spank a little maybe tie-up or blindfold, then to have sex with without having to really be very nice or gentle.
Kinky sex was what it amounted to, and in some cases it was nothing more than having the opportunity to be a little rough with someone with no comeback.

Not very satisfying.

So what is it that this girl, and those transsexual sisters she knows, is looking for?
Well in most cases it is the same thing that any submissive wants, a caring and sometimes demanding Dominant, One who will teach them and lead them to the deepest and most prolonged state of submission.
They are not doormats; they need the firmness of a Dominant with the support and love of a human being.
Because they are different they are ostracised, even within the BDSM community, yet the need to be accepted is the same for all, it hurts more when it is within a community that should encourage differences not dispose with them because of those differences.

What a submissive pre-operative transsexual needs and wants within BDSM?
The same as any other submissive.
To give their submission !


©2001 chelsea