A couple in love that found the 'lifestyle' late

We are in a long-term relationship having been together for over 20 years. The opportunity to explore new experiences outside of the normal sexual relation between two people has come to the surface only over the past two years. I suppose there has always been an undercurrent in our relationship of wanting something more between the two of us. We now have more time to spend together, in fact our relationship has probably never been stronger.

The chat room situation is a strange environment where nothing or everything can be real but it's where we started on this journey. Perhaps we have been lucky to find a small group of people many of whom are now good close friends who we can be more open with then any 'normal' circle of friends. However 'worlds do collide' when we bumped into another couple in a BDSM club a while back who we have known outside of this 'lifestyle' for 15 years!!!

Developing these friendships and trust is the hardest hurdle to get over. In the ALT chat rooms and chat rooms in general there are a lot of people who are either projecting themselves as something they're not, as something they want to be or just out and out liars with all sorts of hidden agendas for the reasons they are there.

Our experience has moved from reading and talking about this thing called the 'lifestyle', to becoming part of it through munches, play, and scening both in private and public (a daunting experience to begin with but one that is most enjoyable). Perhaps there's a bit of the exhibitionist in all of us.

There are no rights and wrongs in this, each person / couple has their own view of what the words 'lifestyle' etc mean and just because it may not be the same as someone else's view does not invalidate it.

There is no moral high ground, merely the trust and respect that one and more person gives to another in a consensual act the limits of which they have agreed between themselves. (This last paragraph sounds like something out of a book!!)

Yes there maybe people who are just looking for sex, which has no connection with BDSM. For them it's is merely a place to find someone of the opposite or same sex.

However we have found that we cannot divorce the situations where we are 'playing' from the erotic/sexual pleasure that brings. I've heard this referred to as 'bedroom bondage' but that's just a label. We know what works for us and we are happy so who cares…

I would not say we 'live the life' totally but as each day passes it becomes a bigger and bigger part of our life and our conscious and unconscious thoughts!

No doubt some of you that read this will say the above is wrong, well all we can say is this is our slant on it and we are sure you've got your own.

Life's too short to worry about semantics and to be honest we are enjoying ourselves and would suggest you do the same.

©2001 Leather'n'Chains