rubber); K-Y and other water-based lubes tend to make the anus sore after you expel. I also suggest "prelubricating" the anus and rectum with generous amounts of lubricant (Vaseline, cold cream). Have your partner use their finger and massage the anal area a bit with the lubricant and work some of it up inside. Then when the nozzle is inserted in you, your anus will relax and admit it much easier.
3. As your partner begins to insert the nozzle, try to relax. A couple deep breaths as the nozzle moves past the anal sphincter and into the rectum often helps. If you're using an anal catheter nozzle, or other larger nozzle, your partner should perform the insertion in several stages. First the "easy part," then let you rest for a few seconds, then slooowwlly inserting the "bag" part, then let you rest again before inflating the bag inside of you.
4. When the water is turned on, mentally open yourself to receive it. Imagine your colon and rectum relaxed and accepting, ready to be filled. I don't know why, but the main problem with enemas seems to be panic. It may be the size of the bag, or the idea that "this is going to hurt real good," or some such thing, but if you just relax and receive the water as it flows into you, the enema will not cause nearly as much cramping, and will probably feel OK from the very first moment. As the cramps come (and they will, especially if you've never had an enema), massage your abdomen and do the deep breathing I recommended for the insertion process. Don't panic. The adult colon can receive up to 4 quarts of water, and I've given full 2-quart enemas to women who were just barely 5 ft. tall and quite slim. I know that these women could have taken more than I gave them without major discomfort. So don't panic. If you feel you have to go immediately, ask your partner to stop the flow for a few moments so that your colon can relax.
5. As the enema is finished, maintain a relaxed position and attempt to hold it for a few minutes, if you can. Try to relax yourself by letting your belly bulge out and continue to take some deep breaths from time to time.
Enema Bag and Tubing Anal Catheter Nozzle
Notes For The Giver
The giver has a great deal of responsibility. They have to see that their partner enjoys (or at least tolerates) a process that is often embarrassing and unpleasant. Your job can be much easier if you'll do the following things:
1. As you lubricate your partner's anus: lift the upper "cheek" until the anus is stretched open just a bit. You should be able to see the "entry point" for your finger. Next, put the tip of your lubricated finger against the centre of your partner's "rosebud;" gently press in. Your finger should begin to slide in (especially if you are at the right spot). Continue to press, and let your finger enter your partner's anus slowly. Be gentle.
2. As you insert the nozzle: follow the same instructions I've given for your finger. A properly placed nozzle does not need to be forced in. A gentle pressure against the anal opening is all that's needed, and the nozzle should slide right in.
3. Be sure that the bag is not hung too high, usually about 16" but no more than 3 ft. max above the anus, and that the water is very warm (you should be able to just barely hold your hand in it).
4. Open the clamp slowly. Don't try to give her the entire enema without stopping, and be sensitive to your partner's needs. I always suggest that the enema is given with them lying on their side and you seated behind them so that you can manipulate the nozzle and the clamp that adjusts the flow. Sometimes massaging the belly helps as the water flows in. If they are really full of faecal matter (shit...), just give half the bag, refill after they expel, and give the entire bag the second time. Always remember that this is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you, even if the "scene" you're playing is punishment, so talk them through the hard parts. Use the clamp to regulate the flow so that the enema doesn't flow in too fast. A well-given enema can take as much as 15 minutes to inject.
5. When the enema is all in, help her up (leave the nozzle in), and follow your partner into the bathroom. Then remove the nozzle when they are seated on the toilet.
Cleaning Up
Cleanup should be minimal. Disposable latex gloves are nice to have on hand for this.
Rinse the enema bag and tip with a 10% solution of bleach in case any backflow occurred.
Some like to pour boiling water over the enema tip itself. Hang the bag to dry so no mold grows in it.
Don't use it for douching and do NOT share your enema bag with your best friend, no matter how close you are.