Okay! Okay! So I don't rant anywhere near as well as the Boss does - so here are my observations!
I often see subs say they are too strong or too feisty for most Doms. How can that be? Doesn't that mean they are just unwilling to submit? Submission is given, it's not a battle of wills, between the Dom/me and the sub, to see who wins out. Yeah, some Doms permit a bit of role-play feistiness that may lead to disciplining but that's not the same as being "too feisty". The stronger the sub the deeper the act of submission when given.
I've seen people say there is no rule book, then I have seeen the same people, and others, say that someone was not acting like a Master in chat. Where is this description of a Master? Are they meant to be some superhuman being, without the right to stong opinions or emotions. I personally would be very wary of someone who could not show or express their emotions. They are covert people - keep things bottled up - it's unhealthy and it's false.
If you tell a sub she is not behaving like a sub in chat she will soon tell you that she is sub to only one person, why then should a Master be Master to all?
I've seen people respond to being called "clueless" or "a wanker" with the "you are losing the argument because you have resorted to personally insults" and then have gone on to talk to the Dom in a demeaning way, calling him "subbie boy" or saying that he is stupid, or calling him "dearie" or other patronising phrases. That is also using insults. You can wrap dog shit up in a pretty paper, but it is still dog shit.
When talking about safety and the risks in BDSM I have seen people say dismissively "even crossing the road is a risk". I agree, so you wouldn't just step out onto the road would you? You'd look both ways and wait till it was safe to cross, or find a pedestrian crossing, and if there was someone with you who had never crossed a road before you'd take their arm and explain to them the safest way to cross.
When talking about safety and BDSM meetings I have seen people say that it's no different to a vanilla date. What rubbish! If you were a vanilla girl who met a bloke at a night club and you went back to his house, and he said he wanted to tie you up and gag you, you'd probably call him a weirdo and tell him to fuck off. If it was a BDSM meet you'd be more inclined to get yourself tied and rendered vulnerable.
I've seen people complaining about mystery illness, having tests and the doctors trying to find out what is wrong. These people are waiting for a diagnosis so they can undertake a course of treatment and get back to a happy life. By the same token I have seen people saying they don't believe in labels in BDSM. But isn't that a similar thing? Knowing and accepting what you are in BDSM is like having that needed diagnosis so you can then look for the partner you need to make you happy.
© 2005 onwards : Michelle (Circe1)